I think she would actually eat a penis if anyone was brave enough to let one near her mouth
she just put all the cheese in the refrig to sleep.. and yes we did finish you bottle.
I cant remeber how long i've been laying here...it could be 10 minutes to a fucking day
I blacked out after the shots of canned lobster bisque.
for future reference: playing drunken strip-twister is a euphemism for a threesome. just thought you should know.
Last I remember we played rock paper scissors for who would fuck the guy with cowboy boots on and I won..
I just ate powdered extacy out of my wallet. I think I might have for a second of my reasonable life been on your level.
Turns out the old man beside me in the waiting room was dead, but other then that it was a good day.
It's not socially acceptable to be drunk in adult world. That fact makes me die a little inside.
You just said you hate yourself then sent me a picture of your friend's penis. Clearly this is a night of honesty.
Someone broke in while we were at the bars, window is shattered but nothing got taken
Noone broke in, matt tried to pull a tyrese and punch through the window... were at the hospital.
I know I come to this conclusion on a fairly regular basis but I really do need a babysitter
drunk me cartwheeled over a turtle sandbox & slit my foot open on a cinder block. how do you explain that to a doctor?
skipped tacos for a blowjob. No tacos. No blowjob. More importantly...no tacos. Wtf?
He screamed, "Let there be light!" when he came
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