The pickup line "You look exactly like my sister" would only work in Arkansas...SCORE!!
Just a heads up: The party is Fourth of July themed. Spread the word
dude its may
Work with me here, man.
who paints a picture of their own dick and sends it to people. i dont know if its borderline crazy or just fucking genius...
Sorry my moustache came off because I was face first in a layered bucket full of jello shots.
she trying to cartwheel up the stairs... not going so well
Everything sucks i just wanna cry and smoke a bowl and pet my cat and die. All at the same time
Throwing up so forcefully that toilet water hits you in the face is not what the Pilgrims and Indians had in mind for this holiday
nothing like going to the bathroom, running into the wall, thinking its a person and saying"its ok i just had the 4 beers" even the wall knew i was lying
I HOPE YOU ENJOY THIS VDIEPO BECAUSE I AMS ENDIONG A LOKT OF EFFORT RECORIDNG IT
I ONLY PARTIALLY KNOW WHAT YOU SAID. BUT I THINK I WILL LIKE IT.
I effort
Between the uncertainly of my bowels today, and the distance the bar is to my house, remember I am doing this for you and our mutual appreciation of alcoholism.
yeah, I'm getting gagged by the cock of fate
If I die here, tell my vagina and my cats that I'm sorry.
I just swiped right for a guy on Tinder solely because it looked like he was holding Zoboomafoo
Bring shot glasses to the final. Don't ask questions.
Tonight I totally got eaten out in the old school photo booth in the mall. Will send you pics of the photo reel asap
Randomize
