how do you spell 'special'? like slow?
S P E L L C H E C K
No you dumbass thats not right
I woke up this morning really drunk with my Christmas lights on and two owls in my bed.
as we were stuffing their 24 of beer into our bags you kept saying you wanted cheese strings. closest things we found were kraft singles. as the guys came up the stairs you kept screaming 'GET THE CHEESE! GET THE CHEESE!'
If I'm gonna go to jail I'm gonna be wearing a poncho
I've created a drink called, "watching the sound of music with grandma." its straight vodka
Please tell me this is my four loko that I just woke up in....
Just put my hand under my pillow and found a peach ring. Lat night just came rushing back.
I don't care how stoned you are, I'm not driving to a different state for a burrito
I cannot tell if the couch is cold or I spilled beer. THAT kind of night.
I think we should go through the tsa checkpoint with raging hardons when we go through LAX. I think we should pass out some viagra to everyone
No, this place just freaks me out. Like I feel like ill get pregnant just being here. And all those pregnant bellies. It's weird.
want me to make you a grilled cheese? I can't guarantee it'll be as good as yours but i'll go down on you afterwards if you want
brb printing out this text and putting it on my bedroom wall
the dude in the apartments across the street got a video of me railing blake on your front steps last night
shit like this is why i dont let you drink vodka anymore ..
Woke up in a sombrero and a males speedo. Tequila makes normal peoples clothes fall off, however it makes me fall into a questionable identity crisis
I was like sure, i'll have a drink or two to end the night early. Next thing i know theres a ton of dudes in my house and like 3 gallons of wine. I cant do anything in moderation.
Randomize
