Just cropdusted the office
If you're ever in Seattle we should Fuck. Or get coffee, whatever.
your address is 607B right?
yeah why?
i need to tell the guy bringing over the flaming bag of dog shit where to put it
he's a nude model. what could you have done to make him feel awkward??
Gave out candy dressed as a porn star...bet you can guess how the mothers kept reacting.
If Bret Micheals dies..will VH1 have to go off the air?
drunk tastebuds have low standards.
currently shading my boobs to make it look like i have mass cleavage...thanks art school
How would u feel about transportimg a penis shaped ice luge to nashville?
It'll be like a meth lab. But with jello.
Overdraft my account again. Parents are starting to ask questions. What would go over better a gambling or drug addiction??
I'm laying here half naked telling him I'm eating gold fish to change the subject of hookin up cuz I don't wanna put pants on
Oh my fucking god how fucking embarrassing never again will I mix drugs at a family barbecue
Last night when I blacked out, I ate Chef Boyardee. I never want to be that drunk ever, ever again.
I'm reading the Hobbit in my blanket fort alone with a bottle of wine... all I need is dungeons and dragons to complete this superfecta of awesome
Randomize
