i effing cant stand that stupid soul the new way to roll hamster commercial. everyone im with is laughing and now hate them all.
you announced to the whole room that instead of shaving you were planning to start straightening and then braiding your pubes. awkward silence followed by everyone leaving.
it was a weeks worth of wine for $20. it would have been fiscally irresponsible to not buy it.
Atty had lunch with DA and confirmed I am not the target of the investigation. No word on anything else
I can hear her blowing you man. All I hear is her saying 'yeah' over and over again.
They invited me day drinking but brought their kids. 3 two year olds and 1 11 month old. I was asked to change a diaper, I laughed and took another drink of this margarita. I LIKE CHANEL AND TEQUILA NOT CHILDREN. Can we make new friends?
So I hooked up with a guy with a mustache and woke up on a dragon futon underneath a dragon yin-tang tapestry... My life is spiraling in a weird way.
Dont worry bro, i'll be the designated kayaker. I wouldnt want u to be drinking and kayaking.
I'm not sure what is worse, the fact that Hoffman doesn't sell vodka before 9am or that I was trying to buy vodka at 8:30am.
You'd love her. She's outspoken like us. And appreciates a big penis and a strong drink.
Guess who has two thumbs and broke her boyfriends dick?
carb up bitch. we're drinking with football players.
If he gets me coffee, cold or no I'll make him see Jesus with my mouth.
I'm in my math teacher's garage hiding right now because I fucked his son last night. It's fine
Im too stoned for my mom to be picking up hitch hikers. Help.
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