Bea Arthur died! :(
What?
Big bird passed.
I just withdrew $200 in ones. I think the teller knew what was up
I woke up wearing just my underwear and a headlamp at a different house than I remember passing out at. I told you irish car bombs are not made with an entire guinness.
He was sitting at the table eating ice and said, "I'm pretty sure everyone in my family has nipples."
I'm applying temporary tattoos with green beer, this is the life.
Petty good. I just stapled a 5 dollar bill onto the chest of a sword swallower.
Nypd just made jon and hayes chug their forties.
ur not supposed to find someone to make out with when ur bf takes u to his SISTERS house to hang out with her and her husband
She was pouring Goldschlager in my mouth during the shower sex. How can you NOT like her?
i think i need to institute a "if your dick has been in my mouth this year i get a xmas present" policy
Dude, im sorry I had sex with that girl I was trying to hook you up with last night. Good news though she puts out
Some guy just ate one of the dog treats. I have him a free beer. I love my job.
The Easter dress struggle is real
Yep. Just had to pull mine off to puke.
I'm not talking about Donald Trump in the midst of sending you nudes
We took three cabs to get home, the first one dropped us off a block away, so we went back to the hotel and tried again
Randomize
