the girl next to me in class is drawing a guy banging a chick doggy style...its very detailed
Just took my morning after pill in the library
One of my friends found 6 bags of gummy bears on the roof. He lives a building over. Apparently even hammered you still have quite an arm
The plants looked thirsty. Growing plants need mimosas too.
Heated debate on which is worse. Pissing your pants or puking all over yourself
The bridesmaid just threw up on herself. This is going to be the best wedding ever
I hope the doctor doesnt lift up and my shirt and listen to my lungs. I dont want to explain why I have rug burns on my back.
Just found a ramen cup in the stall and all of the showers running with no one in them. WHERE ARE YOU?
but you must be fair and judge his penis by normal penis standards and not let your vision be clouded by the rare gem of a penis you have recently encountered
You know its been a rough night when for a large portion of the evening you have accepted your death
they sound like some classy girls.
Hey, I don't give them daddy issues, I just take advantage of it. The real bad guy here is American parenting.
When everyone ask you tomorrow go ahead and tell them I'm the girl that fell of safe ride and was all bloody.
SUNS OUT COOCHY OUT
There may or may not be an ass shaped dent in the hood of my car. All I know is windshield wipers aren't as sturdy as you think to hold onto.
I woke up in a bathtub full of green and blue Nickelodeon slime! wtf?!
Randomize
