Yeah next time you are over I'll let you beat it on her pillows and you will feel better.
No, you can still breathe under the balls.
counting down the days left of school on my birth control packet.
If her picture on my phone wasn't mostly of her breasts, I'd never pick up the phone when she calls.
Its official. Iv'e been kicked out of a bar in every state. I would like to take my job and travel time for allowing this to happen.
your blue lips and tongue was their first indication you were probably underage
HEY THERE IS NO AGE LIMIT ON BLUE SLUSHIES
After 3 dates I think I'm failing at painting the "sweet guy with a future" picture and more painting the "this is the guy to call when you've run out of options and want to get fucked in half drunk to forget about it" picture.
She said we "made love." I had to explain to her that when both parties agree that the first time time they have sex both people agree to video tape the whole thing its not "making love" but more like random good time fun sex.
I just watched how this is made for an hour because I was tooo high to remember what they were making. it was like a prize at the end.
Actually going to jail after your wedding is NOT part of the plan.
In your alcohol circus, can my act be juggling men? Let's be real, I can juggle multiple dick buddies better than a professional
…wtf were in those pills mom gave me
Do you think if I explain to her I want to have loud, unprotected sex with her sister she'll understand?
HILY FUCK HES HERE I HAVE MONISTAT IN ME HE SUPRISED ME
We made a blanket fort in my dorm room and fucked in it. Twice. I'm in love.
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