If I remember taking any of my finals after tomorrow night, it will not have been a successful night.
I felt weird they were both staring at me waiting for the scoop on how your vagina felt.
It's sore actually
there was a 40 knocked over. chips and salsa all over the floor. and she was in her thong doing boot camp on demand in the middle of the room..
I can't tell if your life is amazing or needs reevaluation when "did I get hit with a nightstick" is a legitimate question.
It's like eating cereal and milk but instead of cereal it's gummy bears and instead of milk it's vodka.
Really? How much of his life do you think he remembers? I'm pretty sure 75% of it qualifies as "kind of a blur".
shes making a cheerios necklace using dental floss 'just in case' she gets the munchies later
I walked into a room this morning and someone asked how my back was because I apparently threw myself off the porch after attempting to set myself on fire. Who the fuck let drunk me play with fire?!
Better question: who the fuck planted a tree next to the porch?!
I mean I want to go somewhere. I just don't want to put on pants or behave.
It was one of those mornings when I wake up and feel like I have to say sorry to the whole world
The dysfunction is strong in this one.
this potential sugar daddy just sent me a photo of him butt naked in the woods saying he wants to "grow our spirits together." so i think i found us a new drug dealer!
This is like a walk of shame down memory lane.
Don't worry about us we're making Mac and cheese
MAC AND CHEESE ABORTED, WE HAD FIRE
He's making me do the dishes for the next month and half because I shit in the bath tub...
Randomize
