So how Liz Lemon is this? I bring a boy home, we get in bed, and I realize there's a lean pocket wrapper in the sheets.
look to my right... shes dancing like she's playing dance dance revolution and her character is a retarded, drunken moose
Nah you can have him. There's too many men in my life right now. I can't handle another dick.
I took both his daughters virginities. There's no way he won't give me a job
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Well on a positive note, crystal light now comes in margarita flavor
Its like the unofficial aniversary of the loss of her virginity. And I will be giving tours of the spot they did it in and showing how I'm serious when I say the grass doesn't grow there anymore.
Everything sucks i just wanna cry and smoke a bowl and pet my cat and die. All at the same time
What changed your mind?
Being sober
Do you remember using the vicegrip to demonstrate how wide your penis is?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Proudest moment of my life. Just watched a guy walk into the side of a car because I winked at him. Love these yoga pants and my hair. Fuck yes. His mouth was hanging open.
Just had an orgasim to the Star Spangled Banner so.. it was all worth it.
I said "one day" and that day is not today
You know you've made it in life when the people in the next stall are cheering on your orgasm
You told your boyfriend he needed to fuck you in the tree because it would make you guys one with nature.
Did he?
It doesn't matter how nice the shirt you wore to the bar was, you still shouldn't have worn it to a job interview
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