Some girl just asked us for directions back to campus. we told her to take the first four lefts. We live on a block. she believed us
i have one hour to talk myself into enjoying giving him a blow job when i get home
just as he was about to cum he started shouting "I THINK I CAN! I THINK I CAN!" over and over again.
I fucking love fucking science majors-- she told me that she wanted to know if her gag reflex got better or worse with alcohol, and that her initial evidence had been inconclusive. So, next few weeks, yeah, gettin blown periodically. All I have to do is keep a log.
After giving the pizza guy directions you told him to look for the big stupid looking kid outside in purple
No mixer. Vodka in yogurt?
We are, if nothing else, classy enough to leave our 10 mini bottles of wine in a polite line on the floor of the movie theater.
I've been timing it. He's been showering alone for 33 minutes. 4 minutes ago, he said "truth or dare." haven't heard anything since.
After Madison dropped a bottle of full vodka an it shattered on the floor, it was quiet for literally 3 min straight and then drew said "the booze gods have spoken"
It's all coming back to me. I drank moonshine from a milk carton from a guy named tomohawk last night.
These girls just walked into this party as reverse cowgirls... Wearing cowboy clothes all backwards
Seriously, it's 5am. STOP CREEPIN and START SLEEPIN!
I'm shotgunning a meatball sub and watching flip or flop. i have reached a new level of singledom.
No problem...what are friends for if they can't rub eachothers genitals.
hey im sorry i made fun of the color of your sheets, but like it was all i could focus on during sex because they were just THAT UGLY
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