People are handing out olympic condoms downtown, just put it on and it broke, this is how there trying to raise the population. Very sneaky canadian government, very sneaky
you just kept yelling "siddle that plaza" til the cab driver said it back...
He bought me a pink rose and a Plan B. I really like this guy.
Held my professor's hair back while she was puking. I'd better get an A out of this or else the pics are going on Facebook.
I had to write an apology letter to security guards in the hotel so I didnt get kicked out
I have got to stop getting laid on my lunch breaks. I AM SO HUNGRY RIGHT NOW.
My mom ate salad out of the vodka bowl
Im the macgyver of cooling down beers. The toilet tank was blocked so I couldn't use it.....
He unbuckled his belt, tipped his hat at me, then told me to "saddle up"
this is like your 5th cowboy right? where do you keep finding these guys?!!
Do you ever actually plan things? Or is it always drugs then whatever happens? I'm considering being worried about you
The worst part about living in a small town is partying with your pharmacist and then having to buy Plan B from him the next morning.
She was wearing a grass skirt and a watermelon bra. WATERMELONS.
i ordered what the bartender said was called a pink cock, and kept saying it tastes like a disney princess. thats how my 21st bday went
Ben Franklin would totally be a furry.
You're smoking weed and checking Tumblr I take it?
when some dude came up to you and said he didn't like your shirt you just looked at him and firmly asked if he really thought that you gave a fuck.
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