Send those Picts to my email please. From last night
Ps thx for the porn on my phone
;) ur welcome
we thought you were sober enough for a movie but you took one look at emily blunt and screamed "aw this bitch?!" and passed out 30 seconds later
Is there a word for someone who only has sex with NFL prospects?
My roommate took my designated hickey removing spoon out of the freezer.
I believe nudity is frowned upon at that establishment
He was barking to the beat of "I like to fuck" and then chugged 3 beers and fell off the deck.. I should have gotten community service hours
I just got invited to party with a bunch of elderly lesbians I am in no position to offer life advice
Oh I'm definitely going to hit on her, there's no question about that. What I meant by playing it cool is I'm not going to mount her on sight.
You know you're too drunk when you start calling people out for unfollowing you on social networks.
Last night she walked off and disappeared from everyone got home at 330 and said she went to the casino with her cab driver.
She's in it for that fear factor ya'll. Obsession and stalking or nothing.
I'm on my third roll of toilet paper. Today can fuck right off.
Why are your pants in the freezer?
Hey, I'm sleeping in your car...lol just knock on the window in the morning
He's the first boyfriend I wouldn't cheat on. This is a really big deal for me
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