You'd think with all the porn he watches he'd be a little better at this...
He just left me a message saying he left the rest of the weed for me. Did i just get paid for sex? And if yes did i just get paid in drugs?
I bought a bottle of 100 proof for the storm. I am going to drink until I pass out. I'm taking bets. 1:30 pm is the over/under.
he said i give him, and i quote, "emotional blue balls"
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Just think. Tomorrow you'll wake up, shower, and get your brains fucked out. That's your ice cream. Today is your peas and carrots.
We started telling people we were married, and then we hooked up on a park bench
Um...any recollection of peeing in the pantry
My birthday is in 11 days. Going ham. Consciousness will not be an option
I like literally had a visual image of his penis going into your soul
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
...and that is the first time I've ever wished fewer naked women on someone I like.
you ever just feel like an organ is failing?
We had sex and then ordered pizza after. This relationship is looking good so far.
So you can now add nose to my list of places that cum has gone that it shouldn't...
I've been getting a lot of emails from patron lately for being a great customer. Is that awesome, or should I start thinking about seeking help?
is it still the walk of shame if his dad gave me a 'thanks for sleeping with my son' head nod on my way out this morning?
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