Homeslice needs to figure out he's so 2006
i've been called drunk 4 times today and it's only 3pm
I just saw a guy in the gym riding the bicycle while watching baseball and dipping.
i think i pulled off the nice guy thing too well. it just backfired later on when she thought i was actually nice.
I just keep sniffing it hoping for an explanation.
At one point in time, he cried and said I didn't appreciate him.
Exactly. This is the bit where I learn a heartwarming lesson about not making my drinks half vodka
You left wolverine marks
I'm somewhere between sorry and proud
Sorry was covered in semen when you texted me. Just walking back from the Harvard Club
All you needed to say was one of those sentences and the other would've been implied.
Dude hobos go hard. I learned a lot last night.
it's like he didn't even know what a vagina was
Last thing I remember I was riding on a picnic table being hauled around by a lawn mower with an empty case of bud light on my head...
Etiquette question... How do you tell your mother that her nipple is out in her fb profile picture?
Anytime you wish.we are doing double shots in the kitchen,and I drank a beer in the shower,so...the sooner you get here,the sooner you can get on our level.
New rock bottom. Woke up at 7 am fully clothed in a bathtub full of water. I hate myself.
Randomize
