i want you to feel like i'm letting you into my heart, not just my vagina.
I'm gonna have bed sores at the end of this hangover.
Look on the bright side, you can mark 'beastiality' off your bucket list
i talked to you about this last night, and you kept saying "he wants yo pusssaayyyyyy"
Woke up with my foot jammed into a VCR
I was gonna tell her, but there were too many tongues in my mouth
I got home and laid by the toilet and then alexa laid in the bathtub and sang the preamble while kayla held my hair
Tranny group. Dance off. Horse hair and dicks swinging. I. Cant. Unsee. This.
I am having telepathic thoughts with my cat. He loves me and wants me to blow his nose
Beer bong just needs to be rebedazzled but it's gonna make it
My moms new boyfriend looks like Stu Pickles if he was in a biker gang. He gave me free coke though, so come party?
I woke up with the gnarliest cold/hangover combo
Thats what u get when u have butt ass naked rooftop sex at night in december
Worth it.
Put a Santa hat on my junk. He's wants to be festive too.
I should've known a straight guy wouldn't know all the words to Moana
let me assure you that a rugburn on your forehead is the worst side effect of tequila i have experienced to date.
Randomize
