I asked a girl to buy her a drink, she had I have a boyfriend, so I said, well i have a goldfish, she said what? I replied, oh I'm sorry I thought we were talking about shit that doesnt matter.
ps... at the end of one of the videos you yell "let's do the eiffel tower again.. i'll be in the middle!" .. i almost died lolol
it was average length and chubby
so kinda like him?
now i'm wondering if all guys are shaped like their penis...
How do I tell my mom that she just went to the gym with my water bottle filled with vodka...
we're ranked number 5 for having the most pot in the country for a university school. idk if i should feel worried or just plain blessed.
You tried to get me to kick my booty call out at 3am by tempting me with a trip to ihop
I mean, how many people can say they helped surgically remove something from their body? Other than the guy that got his hand stuck under a rock and cut it off. Doesn't count
Didn't know hookah bars could end badly. I feel for her hair
I don't know if it is the Everclear or chemistry, but i think my brain is coming out of my ears.
DON'T WEAR PANTS.
I REPEAT.
DO. NOT. WEAR. TROUSERS.
Package arrived for me from the gf while she's on vacation..under the bed bondage kit and new lingerie...my boner could drive to the airport
He was the highest I've ever seen. Almost had him convinced there are only three colors in the rainbow...
i was asked to be gay of honor by three different girls and NONE of the groomsmen at any of the weddings is open to experimenting. i mean whats the point then.
WHEN THE HELL DOES ANYTHING IN OUR LIVES *EVER* GO AS PLANNED???
Nobody on Tinder wants to give you a Blumpkin.
Randomize
