id fuck shawn from boy meets world only if we could name the baby topanga.
True story: Just left my solo cup on a cop car. Yesss
GOOD IDEA: Stealing the bike a couple blocks away so I don't have to walk. BAD IDEA: riding bike for the first time in years drunk as hell. I'm bleeding and my body hurts and once again I can't find my car.
there's got to be a less slutty way to tell him the baby isn't his
Should we discuss the rug burns on my back or just save that for a separate conversation
You know it's time to do the dishes when you take shots of water out of a sake glass...
And you wonder why you're always one of the guys?
He also complimented my butt. High praise coming from a boob guy.
I'm glad there seems to be a general consensus regarding your ass
She has that type of face she reminds me of that weird girl from napoleon dynamite only taller and with hoop earrings.
Speaking of, what are you doing next weekend? I'm going to a rope bondage seminar and may need a partner if my date bails.
No matter how long you've been away, there's nothing quite like pooping at your parents' house
We need to move to a different bar soon. When we're standing on the patio, and every guy around us has seen us naked...there's a problem
I love that they love me even though I might not exsist, its kinda like Im God.
i still cant feel my toes or walk straight...its been 2 days.
I am real keen for none of this to be taken out of context so let’s just shut it down right now
was having sex but got distracted... he instragramed a pic of his crotch
Randomize
