Did yall have sex?
Well we both woke up naked and there was a condom wrapper on the floor, but I don't remember so does that count?
Def not... that's how I managed to keep my number under 10 for all of college- If you don't remember, it didn't happen
if you could put a roof over IU campus it would be the biggest whorehouse in the nation
Another weekend, another 3 guys I have to awkwardly avoid while crossing campus...
then he asked me if i wanted to "handle his wingman"
If I am going to pay someone to make me puke, it's going to be the bartender.
screw it, I'll just be a stripper until next August when then are looking for suitable teachers to teach the future of America. it's like a feel good movie just a little out of order and im a dude.
I think we should have realized the night was going to be nuts when it started with a bum dying in front of my house.
just almost had a panic attack because i couldn't find the granola bar i put in my purse. i miss klonopin.
I accidentally kneed him in the balls while trying to straddle him so we ended up spending the night watching ffm porn online
All I'm saying is that if you have time for a 20 min shower bj you have time for me
Well I accidentally flashed a 76 year old woman, i'm in a house full of republicans and Im almost drunk enough to give the gay rights speech so i'd say this wedding reception is going great
I'm eating cereal out of a cocktail shaker. That kind of blizzard.
Can I just go naked and covered in glitter?
That guy I hooked up with in new york last 2 statuses are "I'm going to be a father, it's a girl" then "wow syphilis sure does burn" I'm legit scared... What has my life come to.
My life. Always pantsless and occasionally topless.
Randomize
