Jon and Kate. Drink everytime we see tears. Drink twice if a child cries. Finish your bev if you cry.
Learned a lot. Like boys with frosted tips still exist. And that they're sensitive to constructive criticism.
do you know your status is "goal for vegas: hook up with a girl AND a boy"?
and THATS why i'm not adding my mom on facebook
im dirt poor will suck dick for halloween costume
Feels weird sitting between two guys who've had their heads between my legs in a 24 hour span.
There was a picture of him proposing on the night stand and their dog watched, but I can't help myself, his dick is just so perfect.
I have no valid justification for peeing in your kitchen, but I don't think it's worth breaking up over.
After giving a back rub to someone in the bathroom of the theater, he ripped an "employees must wash hands" sign off the wall to prove that he could and proceeded to hang it up in his house.
Haha I'm surprised I didn't see you I was drunkenly buying $70 in merchandise including a vibrating cock ring at that cvs around that time
Bacon Cheddar rum burgers are as great as they sound. I knew that 100 proof Captain would be good for something other than vomit.
Will i get arrested If i steal the salvatiion arny guys bell for ringing it to close to my hangover
we got her to the bathroom intime. all she could say was 'now my bladder is empty just like my soul'
Happy 420. I woke up to a girl smoking weed and dragging me out of bed. Chemistry makes so much sense high.
Morning! Im using your rent money to snort percocet.
I'm the girl holding the bag of goldfish
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