i just got a UPS package from a name and address i dont know, with one of my thongs in it. no recollection.
i googled "the goonies drinking game." i may be alone, but i'm living the college dream.
You told me alcohol would be the death of you then ordered 10 shots of tequila.
I gave you head at the stadium on a Thursday night ESPN game. That damn well better be worth points on the score board!!!
Ahh you know it's going to be a long day when you mistake a beer for a sprite at 10:30 in the morning while babysitting
Dude you went around coming up behind people and whispering in their ears. I dont know what you said but they looked terrified when you left.
i would like you to please flash back to us blacked out in the bathroom when you told me i needed to take one for the team and have a threesome with you and jon to help your relationship. you then told me you had no issue putting ghb in my drink to make it happen.
after you left he started opening his bottles by smashing the neck against the edge of the fireplace and pouring beer into his mouth. it was about the manliest thing ive ever seen. its probably how lumberjacks open their beers... if they didnt have their axes handy.
I consider my hand a solid 5. So if I'm dipping below a 7.5, I might as well go with old faithful.
Your actions as of last night have earned you over thirty new nicknames.
Do you feel better now that you've sent me a picture of your dick?
Yep.
I didn't even know we were hiding from the cops, I was just playing with the cats. People kept telling me to be quiet the cops are here and I was like DID YOU SEE THIS CAT!?
I feel like hooking up with you on my floor, sneaking out my window and jumping a fence is an effort that deserves a happy birthday.
I am convinced you could sleep through the apocalypse and only wake up because youre hungry & want Dominoes
I blacked out after the piñata full of condoms
Randomize
