i just learned how to squirt via google. life is good.
So I went outside my house this morning and basically my entire front lawn is covered in gummi bears... I think that involves you guys.
i think i scared a bird with my dick
Just calculated that for my last final tomorrow I need 120% to improve my grade and 53% to keep it..buying 30 packs now, go get dressed
5am, I am wayy too drunk for this. Hookers came out of nowhere. They're like ninjas. Some poor soul got the fat one, tomorrow's going to be interesting...
Never backflip into an above ground pool. I think the gash will be smaller by Monday though.
I'd rather take 10 virginities than catch something. Right now I should be good, I mean the sex with Jake was so bad he can't possibly have an std
Like I've never seen her that drunk. She's usually like quiet and doesn't say she'll fuck someone on a futon
It got heated then she just left and I was all alone in the women's restroom.
Is cat milk safe for human consumption?
At this point in job hunting, I'm willing to become a leather daddy if it means some sort of income.
this periodpocalypse needs to be over. I need head
I keep track of what day of the week it is by my recent destinations on my nav system. \nRight now it's: booty call, bar, booty call, brunch, bar, church so that must mean we are getting close to Sunday when we start the rotation all over again.
Just got thrown out of the club for making condom water balloons. I'm not ashamed.
I called plan parenthood at 407 am... Guess I was thinking ahead
Randomize
