oh my god, i just wanna eat cake off your dick
Ridin mah bike see you on the moon
We learned about herpes today in bio. I might as well have given the lecture
do you know how hard it is to sit through a 3 hour movie with someone and not fuck them?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i slept with her, drove her to her sisters house to babysit, and then drove around the block where i met her sister and had sex with her in my van. I'm family Friendly!
Sure, fine. Daughter just told me she is not a virgin anymore. I am gonna start drinking now
He skyped me to learn how to roll a joint and for us to masturbate together. And you said a long distance relationship wouldn't work.
I found my underwear on the sidewalk 8 blocks from her house while on my walk of shame. I also found our beer bag and a full beer in the bush.
Best part of being a cop: When I showed up at Thanksgiving with stitches in my head I could tell them I was "protecting and serving" not "drinking and falling down". Career validated.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He was trying to hotbox the banana suit. Of course we traded him for vodka.
Just considered playing a drinking game with powerade with my sister so she would get some fluids in her. I do so well with sick people.
Is 28 too old to get fingered in Centennial Park? Asking for a friend.
Being a fine ass woman in a world full of fuckboys is the realest struggle I've ever known.
So I just went to clothing optional bar
I was supposed to go on a date tonight but I cancelled because I found out the Lizzie McGuire movie is on Netflix.
Randomize