the red head has a bf
just because there's a goalie doesn't mean u can't score
thus making me awesome and them whores
Spent $1500 on bottle service and have a lump on my head from hitting the nightstand while puking. Excess? Nooo Success.
Is it morally objectionable to repay my debt to society with drug money?
Nothings more american than taking a shit with a handgun next to you.
I was in the bathroom and heard my brother scream "YOU FAIL!!!", and I swear to GOD, I thought my penis was yelling at me.
either she said she was feeling frisky or eating friskies..i was too drunk to understand.
He was eating her out on the elevator. What a good man.
Just woke up to find myself cooking eggs on the imaginary stove in my room.
I don't have nearly enough visine for the dryness from sticking my head out the window on the freeway for 20 minutes. Child lock me next time.
I love you more than champagne and correct grammar
the bride at the wedding we just crashed said we can stay only if we strip for her. You need to get down here
I WANT TO. I JUST IMAGINE HIS BEAUTIFUL BLONDE HEAD INBETWEEN MY LEGS AND I BREAK DOWN AND START CRYING.
once he tried to wake me up from my hangover nap to have sex, that's when things went downhill. he had to go.
Just used the pen i got in my signing ceremony to pack down my bowl. coach would be proud
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