Seriously. Destroy her vagina. Do it like an angry baboon mating with a gentle manatee.
we were doing it doggy-style and i felt him pop that pimple on my back.I have mixed feelings about it
didn't know how to tell his mom I was confused about how long we'd been together because we banged for a full year before making it official
There's a pair of socks on the bar. No-one's questioned this.
Either you made a spaghetti vodka smoothie last night, or you puked in the blender.
You force fed me chocolate chips and avocados for 3 hours and kept asking me about my trip to sweden when I was 4.
Well... When your girlfriend fucks your sister, the 2 week courtesy window goes out the door.
are you just inviting me because you can't afford an actual stripper?
If my vagina were a person, it just ran a marathon.
Im so hungover I just threw up at the sight of a CARTOON CRABBY PATTY
Ur dad just showed me a tit pic he got omf
I made out with a guy dressed as the pdx airport carpet.
Portlandia didn't prepare you for that?
In any case. I fucked a married couple recently. Know what a straight person would've done there? Been super weirded out by 1/3 of the genitals there, that's what.
i am also 80% sure that my shirt glows in the dark.
thanks for the bj man. also make sure you close the gate behind you. the chickens are out.
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