For the record dan just proved he knows the first and last names of ALL the members of NSync. Jury is no longer out on his sexuality.
She's got an ass you could write the declaration of independence on in one line. Takes up three bar stools.
his logic is that since hes already cheated on her w me its doesnt count
you can't get genital warts from dogs can you?
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the only plus side is that now I'll be able to tell my son not to trust the condoms that his college gives away..........
He offered me a 30 pack if I don't bring her to the party. Am I a bad friend If I take his offer?
The cops showed up and one of them got pushed in the pool. When he got out he looked really sad so I got him a towel and hugged him. He arrested all the underage drunkards but me.
I think they took out their livers years ago and replaced them with like cheese graters or something. Only explanation.
He was in the middle of making out with two girls at once, but then the guy next to me said "I feel like I'm watching Animal Planet" he stopped to give him a high five
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just watch that 70s show all day and blaze whenever they do. It's nice being part of the circle
Eric was just sitting there open-mouthed swallowing sake from that squirt bottle for so long the lady across from us leaned over to her kid and told him not to end up like "the big alcoholic one"
So when's a good time this week to show up at your apartment in nothing but a trench coat and a bow? Y'know. Hypothetically.
It feels like I was drinking gasoline last night.
I think pants incapable of making pants work
Ok sry I left that ambiguous......did you want contact solution or fellatio?
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