got in a fight at the bar because some dude thought i was being sarcastic when i told him "sweet mustache". it really was a sweet mustache
why are there beer bottles in my dishwasher?
In other news I saw a pack of make believe zombies walking down green st.
gotta love wednesdays
I just did my online traffic school at the bar. No biggie.
For future reference, even the most well-intentioned game of whiskey pong is a terrible idea.
You see.... Im at the point in my life where pissing in a toilet is a luxury for me
NO. NO LET HIS PENIS TOUCH YOU.
he made me feel like a shish kabob. his dick was the skewer.
and you said he wasn't worth calling.
I'm always drunk lately
Now I'm in a game of hide and seek in Sears
she visited to give me a bj between clients. Social work at its finest.
I started crying during a meeting at work and now I'm sitting on my couch drinking boxed wine at 1:30 in the afternoon. Fuck you too estrogen.
Like I fucked him in the shower at 3 am when I had classes all day the next day so he can't say I'm not dedicated
How do you politely tell someone to get out of your house in Russian
The guy whose house were at is drunkenly reading green eggs and ham to us in German
sorry for the late response. was in jail for 6 months.
Randomize
