ok so the lil girl sitting behind u was picking the hairs off ur sisters back and putting them in her mouth
Skanksgiving break is awesome already... pilgrim and indian roleplay tonight.
Sleepwalking naked until I was 12 made it so much easier to get away with drinking at moms now.
I'm in too deep with Breaking Bad. I realized I've altered my Tinder likes to people that either look like Jesse or work in a school's Science department.
Currently hiding in the shower from the RA and my elbow turns it on. Showers and Ciroc don't mix..
The guy at the rodeo just told me "if ya don't say none, ya don't get none". What the hell does that mean?
Im pretty sure you just got hit on by a gay cowboy.....
I don't know whether to laugh it off or be pissed at him..I got pulled over this morning leaving his place and the officer thought my hickeys were hand prints around my neck and asked if I needed to be escorted out of town.
Odd start to the day - the FBI just showed up at my apartment.
I thought he was foreign, but it turns out when you're that drunk, an Ohio accent just sounds Russian.
I made a half way decent playlist
Im gonna call it "hanging myself"
Thanks for having me over last night. Sorry I licked rum off your kitchen floor.
I think i should either cut my hair or buy a dildo.
My throat is burning
Thats because you proceeded to drink the salsa because you thought it was alcohol...dumbass
Granted every 20 shifts of working there you seem to be on par to receive some sort of racy satisfying sexual encounter which money can’t buy
She and I had some intense sexual tension earlier when she dumped a package of apple straws all over my body.
Randomize
