ha- omfg whatt the fuck is wrong w me. Alcohol+third cousins= bad decisions
I don't smoke a lot but now and then I do. Weed and I are like still standing naked in a bathroom together deciding if we should blow one another or bolt for the exit. An awkward relationship.
Pretty sure she's used to bigger guys. She kept slipping off while on top. like, constantly
I just got off a plane from Mexico. At least 15 passengers dashed to the bathroom throughout the flight. Can you tell its spring break?
So Ive been fucking her for the past couple months and i just found our that my grandfather and her grandmother were fuck buddies for a while. I feel like this is a new awesome family tradition that skips a generation.
I don't know how or when he is sober long enough to donate plasma
I offered to lick your vagina while wearing a suit... Pretty sure chivalry is well alive.
Trying not to look at her chest is like trying to not hear a fire engine racing by.
Part of my treatment is getting high and having sex with 22 year olds. I have a prescription!
I fell into a manhole last night, so there's that
apparently i came home last night raving about goats and singing songs from muppet treasure island
It's a mix of hot dirty sex and week old bong water
She's in it for that fear factor ya'll. Obsession and stalking or nothing.
Accidentally texted co-worker instead of bf “I’m wfh tomrw. Nooner? 💦”
I got eaten out in the igloo at snow-kings castle last night.My thighs were literally melting ruts in the ice bench.Definitely colder than the minus 40 blowjob at Desiree's wedding
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