I went out, and slept with my sunglasses on
A joint and a Nerds Rope = breakfast of champions for the unemployed
You were so trashed that when you dropped your fruit rollup on the floor, you just sat next to it and cried.
So for a second i just thought clitoris was a disease.
Could be my worst decision since the whole 'third degree burn' fiasco.
Good news. I heard back from the doctor and I don't have a liver problem.
...yet.
note to self: shower sex when you have 7 stitches in your leg is never a good idea. never.
Well I can't go home with anyone tonight bc I stuffed my bra
Not only does DQ have s'mores shakes, sonic has a hot dog in a pretzel bun, and Wendy's has a burger in a pretzel bun. Important things are happening.
I "liked" his changed relationship status just to show him I'm ok with the fact he found someone not as pretty as me
Nothing kills the mood like him going to slap my ass and he hits his balls at the same time
How awkward is it to have the guy you used to sleep with congratulate you on your engagement? I'll tell you. Very.
so like
i may have gotten a little bit of blood in the charging port of my phone
All I want to do is lay in my bed and eat hotdogs
Fuck my life he IS a stripper, Ive been sleeping with a stripper named Phoenix. damnit, I knew the sex was too good
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