I have no idea what her name is. I only remember putting my dick between her ass cheeks.
Astroglide: It's like Bengay for your ass.
I wish life was like the Sims. Right when you're pregnant the music would play and I would just know instead of agonizing for the next two weeks.
just walked into the room and her sister said loudly, "do him, or I will."
I'm seeing double. Its like being in a room full of people
you know that hot chick that stutters? talk about an awkward orgasm
You guys need to get along, there is no need for a pissing contest...We're all fucking each others ex's.
Hahahaha you would not believe what I just pulled out of my vagina. Actually you probably wouldn't be surprised.
I still havent gotten an apartment yet, so I crash random college parties...get so drunk and then sleep on their couch
They're putting plan B in vending machines now. My life just got so much easier.
I flossed his teeth and then we had sex in the bathroom. It just seemed like a good idea.
Idk man, most things I eat are even better than I expected. Like when I drunkenly put mac and cheese on a slice of cheese pizza or when I soberly put mac and cheese into a Taco Bell burrito.
She wanted me to stick my dick in the birthday cake she got me
This is a question I thought I'd never have to ask. How many hits of acid did you give your dad tonight?
Yes. I had to slow down my handjob so he would last...-and I give shitty handjobs to begin with
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