I Bought a bracelet with bible characters and a charm broke. the virgin mary one. Do you think it's a sign?
I tried booty calling last night but apparently he was too tired and wants to meet up tonight. I told him planning defeats the purpose.
If he comes back to you and I'm left alone in lonelytown I'm totally going to poo on your car.
can you explain why there is a dead rabbit in my front seat?
idk, I had a turtle in mine.
the sad thing is, im pretty sure she was serious about giving me head for my falafel
its not a party unless mikie exposes himself
Bonus points if the penis has a little hat too
Put down the bong. Turn off Hey Arnold. Stop calling me football head.
I love you football head
Currently cooking 3lbs of bacon in case the power goes out bc if even one slice of bacon goes to waste then sandy wins
WHAT KIND OF GUY JACKS OFF TO A PICTURE OF A BUTT WHAT IS THIS THE 1980s
The only thing I know is that these arent my shoes and Aaron is missing and he has my house keys.
I just need to get a little drunker before I realize I'm not straight
I'm eating go-gurt and drinking beer alone in the dark. This is why you shouldn't marry young.
"You can have sex in my class, just stay quiet. I don't like noise." My professor... Shall make for an interesting semester.
She's got a shotglass necklace, running down the street asking people to "fill her up". Get here.
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