Omg alex and i were cooking weiners on a campfire and a bear came and i am waayyy too high for this
Are you okay?
Don't worry. Self-respect preserved. My speech was Grey's quality... I made him cry.
Best idea ever: Giving hobos a beer and having a chugging contest to win another beer. Most fun I have had downtown in a while.
One is full of apple juice. One is full of tequila. This is real russian roulette my friend.
Where the royal fuck are you??
The depths of vodka hell.
i dont remember how or why, but i now have 3 coupons for a free BJ from Anise stapled to my right arm.
Just so you know, if I get bored tomorrow I WILL pretend to get drunk in the bathroom and crash the whole thing
I feel like Jeremy snapchattong while we're fucking is a perfect example of our generation..
There something liberating about walking through the dorm hallways without pants on.
Man, you got so high you own goaled yourself in FIFA then got up celebrating.
Random pof guy just messaged me initiating a Pokemon battle. Want to be a bridesmaid?
Side note: I just realized that I can make my hand warmers double as a heated push up bra.
Pregnancy has ruined porn for me. I can't watch a hot chick get it on without being jealous of her perfectly waxed shit. I can't even see my shit.
fuck school, let's just become the worst strippers ever
Not to be hella graphic on main but I just came so hard I think I saw a new color.
Randomize
