if i died would you start the facebook group?
There is nothing wrong with wanting a slide attached to your staircase
I'm single as of 11 minutes ago. I was the chick who drunkenly tried to climb into bed with you 2 weeks ago. Wanna make this happen?
I have a question: does pizza dipped in chili sound good or am I just really high?
Just did a keg stand the dropped my phone in the toilet. Sorry for partying.
You did a keg stand on the toilet?!
If there's so much of a hint of a whisper from somebody I didn't tell personally, I will cut off your balls with a chainsaw, cauterize the wound with a flaming rusty spoon, feed your balls to your dog, and feed them to you when he shits them out, capiche?
Personally, if my roommate had a nice friend who made me dinner, gave me free beer, a 4am meal, a couch to sleep on in an apartment on the beach, and breakfast when I woke up, and I found out that said roommate was fucking her, I'd be all... right on! She's cool! Thanks for the quesadillas!
the best part of college is nobody can tell me not to eat six toaster strudels and jerk off in the shower
I THINK it was the lead singer. Whoever he was, I have his number and his dick was pierced.
It was totally the lead singer.
We were like ok let's be eachothers maid of honor and then you were like "ok see you at the wedding" and walked away
Just got home from work. I'm going to change into sweats for a while before I have to wear normal pants to the party like I promised.
Walking into her house she felt something in her bra.... It was a used condom. Sadly enough this is not the first or last time it will happen. It's time for an intervention.
drunk boyfriend and drunk me are NOT meant for each other
How much beer/TP for a BJ? Trying to set my new rates.
Last night’s booty call turned into a cuddlefest. Get your game face on, we’re hunting dick tonight
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