Kicked off drink for Jesus month by puking in my mouth while talking to my priest...real cool
No, we ended up finding him drunk at a bus stop downtown sitting on the bench asking people for chocolates and amazing stories to "rid his mind of his whore of a girlfriend"
The walk of shame isn't so shameful when you do it in a stolen, autographed Favre jersey.
Ive only seen a dude masterbate on a train twice, once on the Jtrain and once on the Ftrain... trust me you never wanna see where the subway turns around.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
In his defense he just bought a bong like a week ago so he's still in that honeymoon phase.
You had the nerve to crowd surf to your own bedroom.. I guess watching Aladdin high was probably the best idea ever
That is NOT what pussyfooting around means. Try that again with your toe and I break it off.
I hope you get stoned and think that you're a seal in shark infested waters
I accidentally told my mom I broke my drug nail this weekend
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
you told me I was being patronizing because I didn't want you to run barefoot across a construction site
Dude why can't I remember anything after walking in from my first beer bong?
It was immediately followed by your second, third, fourth and fifth
Fuck this. I'm adopting 12 cats and naming them after the 12 disciples. Maybe Jesus will have sympathy for me then.
i feel like every weekend turns into a giant blur of i dont want to know...
I woke up to the sound of her peeing at the end of the bed at 4am.
it will be a surprise...all I can say is stripper clown.
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