So I just went home and made my own spanx by cutting the legs off of a pair of nylons. I'm either a genius or missed my calling to live in a trailer park.
he was sending me dirty texts but i was watchin nickeloden and couldnt get into it
im ashamed your my cousin
An eyelash just fell out into my container of rice. Searching for it, i took a single piece of rice out at a time coming to the coclusion that i should not be this high while eating rice.
The girl behind me at the dollar store said couldn't wait to get her permit, then requested a pregnancy test. God I love being home.
I want to give my boyfriend great head for his birthday...can i practice on you?
She was the most uninteresting drunk I've met
Quick question... Why were there condoms frozen into ice cubes?
she was sobbing drunk in the backseat about her dead cat and how the guy in the front seat didn't want to hook up with her
I'm ultimately at thr Shariton to drink and ppssibly puke on fancy shit. Thats my story and Im sticking to it.
I give him a gold star every time I orgasm. His room looks like he's freaking King Midas.
You asked me if you could throw up in my shoe.
It's a fucking menopause festival down here at the strike zone
You reeked of guilt and shame and we offered you pancakes
Am I getting cock blocked by karaoke? That's a first.
Haha I'M GOING TO MISS HIS PENIS SO MUCH. But not his bipolarness.
3.5 bazillion penises. So not that hard to find a new good one
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