i just woke up at 8pm naked in my bed, with a fresh haircut. I wonder what barber i went to.
I just experienced a full blown christian wedding. I am SO GLAD YOUR WEDDING WASNT THIS.
Dude, I went home and roller-bladed into her bedroom so I didn't have a 'walk' or shame in the morning..I wouldn't talk to her unless she refereed to me as Brink
I'm pretty sure we organized our beer pong teams according to who's been circumsized...
Jesus christ it's been two texts and we are already talking about dildos
found $100 my ex got arrested and I can receive free health insurance I gotta tell ya 2014 is really going to be my year
Why do I always end up with closet ICP fans?
Dude she smelled like bar-b-que sauce. I can't think of anything better.
I planned to shave today but it's Friday the 13th I might cut something
Does your drug dealer have a printer I can use??
Still can’t get over the fact that we ate beef jerky off a strip club floor
She's walking down the sidewalk with a notebook, a pencil, and a box of cheez its while yelling profanities at small animals.... I'm going 2 ask her where she was before this.
I woke up with an eye patch on, someone else's sweatshirt on, and no pants on. I hope it was a good night.
spent the night holding naked strippers up for keg stands and doing endless amounts of body shots. good game 8am final exam.
whats an extra semester when you've already been in college for 6 years?
yea i'll help you find a man. but, when I say jump, you say on who.
Randomize
