sorry probably not gonna make it :( kinda tied up right now
sad face, r u gay?... wait like really tied up?
:)
They asked me to help them shop for lingerie.
Tell them everything looks awful, makes their ass look fat, etc. You'll wreck their self esteem and likely both have sex with you to make themselves feel better.
You're the most understanding sister I could ever ask for.
I was unaware that a tutu and pasties was appropriate attire to this
You're sure you don't want to come? I'm pretty sure there is going to be "Pin the Tail on the Baby".
Woke up with 3 sports bras for underwear. Valiant effort drunk me.
sold 4 oz of weed today pantsless. man i love college.
That was an excessively violent trivia night
She's trying to put on her dog muzzle on her self
I will never understand why the dress to get laid party is always scheduled to be during family weekend. Its not even ironically funny.
THAT FUCKER WASTED TWO OF MY COLORED CONDOMS! HE DIDN'T EVEN FUCKING FINISH IN IT HE JUST SLAPPED IT ON AND WASTED IT!
i came so hard i kicked through my windshield
Why did I puke in my shower caddy last night
Why are you taking pics in the bathroom with the plunger? I mean you still look hot and I'm totally going to wack off to it.
ok but bondage is pretty much my easy mode
She was cute in her own little way. Shit, free taco's makes anyone hot.
Randomize
