i'm going to rape that little man
omg not your brother
margs and chips and queso make the world go round
well and inertia
erin looks like she hung out with the sham wow guy last night. she's got the beat up hooker look goin' on
You know its been a rough night when you wake up and the first thing you remember is your mom going skinny dipping.
Just registered some guy for opium withdrawals. WTF opium withdrawals, who does opium anymore.
I'm currently day drinking, studying and making corn. Don't tell me what I can't do.
Dude you have to come get or im gonna nail this 64 y/o woman as repayment for buying me shots of jager
The hypnotist is here. He has a black eye and smells like tequila.
Like sorry you chose to have an attractive girlfriend dude
walk of shame. I'm wearing my rain jacket over my dragon costume. My tail keeps dragging in the rain.
I'm currently sitting at your kitchen table eating chicken nuggets that I dug out of the trash and thinking about how much I need to get laid.
He made me a flamingo drink and now I don't know why things are the way they are.
I got my period today and I cried tears of joy. And then just cried because my cramps are actually killing me from the inside out.
i feel like a cleansing fire is the only way to purify the house
I sharted in court today and had to sit on it for about three and a half hours.
Randomize
