I think I just got seasick
you're not on a boat
he has a waterbed.
Capitaan dildo arrescate!
fyi, take the long route to the library. the "can i be your baby daddy?" homeless man migrated back for winter
I'm watching the Australian Open. They need to slow the fuck down. It's hard enough to follow sober and now it's just pissing me off.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I drank almost a whole fifth last night. Woke up with blood everywhere wearing a "stereotype this" tshirt. How fitting
That's why there are breakfast margaritas.
Sorry about that whole "setting your deck on fire" thing.
I did the walk of shame wearing his scrubs. Fucking med school students is the way to go.
You went to jail last night?!
Just a little bit.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Pregaming before going to drink with a girl from Russia. Please make sure I'm not dead in the morning.
He was just lying in his underwear like a present. I had to unwrap it.
You were ¾ of the way through the first pitcher of margaritas then you turned to me and said "Wow I can barely taste the vodka!" And then…….
...Then...
Then I told you margaritas are made with tequila not vodka. You whipped the pitcher at the wall and ordered another one
I told him he could fuck me in his Notre Dame jersey if they won and he never texted back. What is this world coming to
he's smothering me... and not in the good, can you move your thigh off my face please?.. way
this dude is way too smart. he just explained to me the different scientific components of drugs while we smoked. i said i loved icecream.
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