I'm ready for my liver to be the last casualty of 2009
These shoes are way too nice for a walk of shame. Its how I keep myself in line.
gave him road head on the way to his grandparents house. purposely didn't let him finish, the sexual tension over turkey was indescribable.
i hope youre ready for a shit show because we just ordered a whole pitcher of red headed sluts
you have a wonderful penis attached to someone I'm having a lot of problems with right now
you tried to fill your inhaler with vodka
The camera shows a viking with a white mask, a creepy green guy, a gorilla, and a pumpkin throwing eggs and laundry detergent in his yard
OHHH and there was a Batman too.
Karaoke machines out. We're taking turns farting into the microphone. Shits going south fast. Definitely be awake when you get home.
I'm so tired I just poured monster in my coffee.
And it tastes incredible.
And I have chest pains.
He snapchated me a photo of his penis with the caption "it needs a home".
OMG I COULD FUCK HIM FOR POT, THIS CHANGES THE WHOLE GAME.
You'll be happy to know that the bruise is gone from my cock
Guy just walked in with a 40 and a Honda steering wheel. Where the fuck am I?
I woke up completely naked in a mint condition 71 chevelle in someones garage. What.
No, I'm not a heathen. You two are the heathens, I'm the whore.
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