I think that we as people have rights and that we should at the very least be warned before being subjected to Fergie
Is it wrong to scream your own name when about to bust?
You love popeyes more than me
does delicious chicken come out of your vagina?
Yes but life is bad with poopy sheets
Peanut butter while high is kinda stressful
Why do I feel like that's not the first time you've drank champagne with someone dressed as a unicorn?
The bottle I was drinking out of splintered on the bottom, there was glass in my hand, I pulled it out with my teeth... Not the best night for Drunk Kevin
You know what i just remembered? I asked the 8 ball if i was gonna get kicked out this semester before any of this stuff happened and it said yes. ITS REAL.
I may have to steal the boat sober, but I feel that would be harder to explain.
do you remember in the middle of fleeing from the cops you stopped in the middle of the road to make out with quail man?
And dildos are 35% off. So. Ya know. Savings.
It's Wednesday. And it's about that time to remind everyone that my priorities from last weekend have not changed moving forward into this weekend.
I accepted my type is not "conventionally attractive" when she asked me "Him? Are you sure?" 5 times in front of him last night
we had to invent a new word for how drunk I was last night
A good example of deductive reasoning: Knowing that when my girlfriend texts me "I promise not to smoke all your weed!" that she is...at that VERY moment...Smoking All Of My Weed.
Randomize
