Duck Duck Cougar?
did you seriously just ask me if there is such thing as a sophisticated batman shirt?
in retrospect, i probably shouldn't have referred to his dick as "travel size"
I want to fuck you on the side of the bed tonight.
babe, don't say it like that!
I'm sorry, I want to penetrate you on the edge of our sleeping quarters this evening.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I maybe late, he's in a peeing contest with the neighbor's dog. Currently he's in the lead.
My booty call just put me down for a reference for her job at the hospital. What am I supposed to say? She gives great bj's?
This is embarrassing but i think i might have left my fake tooth at your house on your night stand.
Had sex with him again...yikes. and the whole time he kept saying "i wish we could do this forever." Forever lasted about 45 seconds
So just what does one wear when attending a sex toy party with ones mother-in-law?
Jeans and a nice top.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You made me take a photo of you under the stairs at the bar. "Look I'm Harry Potter."
This country song on the radio just had a rap break. What. No. Why.
Just walked out of the train bathroom after having sex and got a round of applause from the passengers. Definitely the best part of the trip.
You need to get out of there before he falls in love with you.
Live it up bro, they're always so surprised to find out you use magnums, being such a tiny man and all. It's a good thing.
Sorry my phone died. Obviously four o'clock in the morning is a good time to tell you this.
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