you dont publicly announce someones alcholism over facebook. you dont out someone like that.
I tried to throw up out of my window but I forgot there was a mesh screen.
about to play the homeward bound drinking game. alone. what are you doing tonight?
She told me she was going to ride me so hard i would cum the ghosts of my ancestors...its gonna be a good time
i think if i got caught drinking at work i could get away with it if i started crying and saying my cat just died. as long as i'm confident.
your love of good penises attached to ugly faces is disgusting and slightly disturbing.
Walk of shame: Easter Edition. He is risen.
This guy is like Don Jon! Im over here this weekend and at least four times I've heard porn on his phone thru the bathroom door.
All I've done today is nap, eat candy and get off from my vibrator. I didn't know it was possible to be THIS single.
I believe you can. But if you can have rum with breakfast then do that. Definitely do that.
please tell me you're the one making all the weird noise in the yard..
I mean I made my therapist laugh so hard she cried....so yes, my life is literally a joke to everyone
How do I let my trainer know I'm only at the gym so I can get in more intense sex positions?
All I’ve had today is sex and water. I think it’s time for tacos.
Probably not. Getting pulled over and puking my guts out on the side of the road in front of the cop and him making fun of me, was not my finest moment. Plus I lost my debit card.
Randomize
