I just need someone to hold me and tell me i dont turn boys gay
Yes..we had amazing sex that I have a 50 percent chance of remembering.
i cant cry in cvs. not again.
So she just apologized to the fire extinguisher.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Yo I tried to get u stoned for ur dreams by blowing weed smoke in ur face while u slept. Ur welcome.
I'm going to tattoo a maze on my back for the next fucker that tries to blow early ....
And after getting thrown out of the frat house, getting carried up the hill for a half an hour, puking 5 times, and almost getting stopped by campus security, she still insisted he sleep with her. Gotta give her credit, even blacked she kept her eyes on the prize
He asked me when I was coming to bed while simultaneously drilling a fart into the mattress. Don't fucking get married.
plus there's no nice way to tell a guy you physically hate the shape of their cock.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Glad to know I rate above a cabbage on the parenting scale.
Would it be playing god to put spaghetti on my pizza?
She just called at a dance party, and you stopped mid puke to join. Another successful night.
The moment when you and your BFF compare frequently used emojis and realize you have similar mental disorders and a really weak alibi.
Parade of Dicks...that's what I'm calling 2017
You started singing Baby Shark, screamed you have no idea how it goes, then somehow turned the beat into Bohemian Rhapsody
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