2:45a: Any chance you got 3000 bucks on you?
I swear to god Optimus Prime and Megatron are fighting in my head right now.
I'm giving up shame for lent. Here come the best 40 days and nights of my life.
I love wearing low cut shirts cuz then when class gets boring, I can look down and admire my breasts.
Beer and cheesecake and spinning in cirlcles why did you let me do this to myself
We were in the hot tub...he ate the pizza pocket directly out of my mouth
I'm a sociology major remember
Well that and comm
Basically you majored in how to get laid
I think god invented us with two hands so we can grab an ass and spank it at the same time.
Hooking up with him was lovely.. but waking up in his bed the next morning and finding double stuffed oreos... I mean.... I won
Your uterus is safe from my father's misconstrued prophecies.
Of all the kinds of relationships I've had in my life, I'd have to say, lab-partner-with-benefits takes the fuckin cake
HOLY FUCK i just remembered we had bows and arrows and firecrackers last night
and flaming arrows and vodka
how did we not set your garage on fire
Banged a girl last night wearing nothing but my Team USA Olympic jersey. I think it's safe to say that nut was for America.
Just stay awake and booze cruise it to class. How are you a senior and have never went to class drunk? No excuses, I have a better gpa.
Hot guy next to me on the flight lives near my grandparents. There’s a 100% chance I end up drunk and naked in his hot tub
Happy Thanksgiving to me!!!
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