I got three cases. When they asked for id I said it was suspended for drunk driving.
he broke up with me so i peed in his bed
pshh wine cellars. now if he has a tequila cellar whole different story
the coke olympics were a bad idea. there's a tree uprooted in the front of my building.
She said to delete the bj video, but I accidentally hit the 'send to her bf' button. My bad
I just found a bottle of gin in my vegetable crisper. Party is back on.
You tried to tell her that the salad was an afrodisiac then proceeded to stroke yourself with the feather duster
So last night I taught an old homeless dude to respond to "Blue" so I could shout your my boy Blue at the party
So our annual Dick Trip has been tentatively scheduled for the week of July 1 - 5. This years theme is "Fucking for Freedom".
He balanced a treat on his nose, and then he rolled me a joint. My bf is the best pet ever.
Walking around as slutty Ron Swanson is amazing
this is honestly why we're friends. we drink tea and plan to do drugs together.
whoa whoa whoa, you're saying I shouldn't post pics of you balls deep in a southern hottie?
It's official cum is not a great leave in conditioner
Got home. Somebody tried to sell me weed on the street. I've never had to try so little to find a dealer before.
Randomize
