just got cropdusted by the delivery guy...this was not in my job description.
if my spotter knew I was listening to the Wicked soundtrack on my iPod, I wouldn't even be mad if he dropped the barbell on my throat
We raised our shot glasses and you screamed out "TO MY DAD FINALLY GOING TO REHAB!"
Walk of Shame today included voting.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I sleep with the gay men, they no longer have questions about their sexuality. No strings attached at it's finest and i get new shopping buddies out if it. It really is a win win situation.
You are my idol.
I'm in that weird half-dead, half fucked-simultaneously-in-every-orifice-by-a-bus-and-it-wasn't-a-good-time state.
Wow I didn't even consider the possibility of him having ED. I'm gaining so many life experiences from dating an older man
We need to talk about the sailor moon porn. Do what you want in your room, but I don't want to come home to you cranking it on the couch to that.
The owner was showing me around and pointed at one of the bars and said "this is the one you're allowed to dance on. I could tell you wanted to ask." DREAM JOB.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Orientation leader success, day 1: incoming freshman just ate out his first sorority girl. I gave him a 7/10.
His Instagram is like a gay porn blog all of the sudden got conquered by the Mormon missionary that he is
somehow getting chased by a bulldozer was NOT on my to-do list for today. just saying
this bedazzled flask is my best investment yet
Although, she is an extremely cool person. She put the "buddy" in "fuck buddy." And I mean that in the most respectful way possible.
Hey! Its not the first time I've been eaten out in a bridesmaids dress in a church by a groomsman!
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