well, if it gives you any insight into how crazy it was, i am currently wikipediaing "anullment"
i was gonna tell him a really embarassing story about you, but then i remembered im in all of them
i just woke up to seventeen texts from you saying all the things you would have done for a french fry.
I went to the bathroom like 8 times and each time I looked in the mirror and tried saying "I am sober." I burst out laughing when I got to "so-" every time. If you can't convince yourself, you can't convince anyone else. Fuck it, I'm going upstairs and drinking more.
You make your fellow Jews happy.
Dude i just want you to know that when i found you half your mustache was already gone. I didn't do it.
I bruised my spine.. Jungle gyms were clearly not meant for sex.
why did you let me tell everyone that you can get herpes from the ice luge and then let me do the ice luge?
In between when I last wrote and now have screwed a Swiss guy on a hostel bathroom floor. Okay, real life?
All I remember is intermittent flashes of being passed out on the side of the road 3 or 4 different times. And telling him to just leave me there and I would walk home in the morning.
We fucked in my trunk while on the clock....what did you do at work today?
I put a zucchini in my pussy for you
I don't trust his life but I trust his penis.
Every person I've ever had sex with is in Chipotle right now.
He deserves a nobel prize for his dick-giving abilities. 10/10, would ride again.
Found this cake smashed up inside a box on the sidewalk. Im saying yes to adventure and eating some.
Taking a nap. Sidewalk cake kicked my ass. It had boston creme filling!
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