Last night I got a napkin with 4 names & numbers: Katie, Ellen, Kylie...and Brandon.
went for icecream. accidentally deepthroated it. my mom gave me a dirty look, but the kid behind the counter looked impressed
I really wanna know when trying to grow up turned into try not to throw up.
20 bottles of wine, 3 cases or beer, and 5 bottles in my kitchen... My parents are teasing me.
So, your gf couldn't walk up the stairs without your help, but she could knit you a scarf?
I think the fact that the scarf was made out of dental floss should be taken into account.
I didn't notice because vodka
Went outside and he was playing rock paper scissors with a cop over a drunk in public ticket.
Reached a new low last night. Passed out. With my pants down. On the toilet. At ihop. Waitress had to wake me up.
Just took plan b with my eggs and chai...homecoming got the best of me already
it wasn't a total waste of time; I mean how often do you get to play scotch pong?
.....fair enough
It was 16 hours of liver killing mistake making goodness
Crowning achievement. I bought ranch dressing and emergency contraception.
I successfully navigated a full, lengthy interaction with my dad in which he never asked me if I was freshly baked. 10 points.
Dude. why do I feel like I am cheating on you every time I do shrooms?
just had sex in a stairwell with six feet five inches worth of drama
Randomize
