Oh, don't even get me started. Harry Potter is so pure. Twilight is just teenage girl porn.
I just gave some chick my debit card to put in the jukebox. She better put out.
The last thing I remember is yelling "ill handle this" while wearing a lion suit and holding a jug of vodka when the RAs came
so jimmy johns showed up at our party last night. our house is sponsored now. living the dream.
I left two shots of jager for you guys when you wake up from your death. Do with it as you wish
announcing that you were the mayor of bjtown got their attention.
You need to stop having girl talk with the guys I'm sleeping with.
Maybe we should invest in one and when one of us wishes to be a hot mess in a wheel chair the other one will push the mess around to wherever it wants to go.
It feels like New Years Day all over again...me trying desperately not to throw up in the backseat & mom and dad blissfully unaware in the front
Do you think you could handle being our babysitter if we roofied ourselves for fun??
"This must be what Jayden Smith feels like all the time"
Its official... I need to stop being so slutty.. the guy I had sex with on friday delivered my jimmy johns tonight.
Who else has a jello penis in their fridge?!
Throwing up in a storm drain... Not my finest moment.
But my shoes looked boss
From now on I'd like to be known as Rampage.
Randomize
