don't go home with that guy from jersey
i know, not worth the blood test
after the cops left he pulled the weed out of his ass and we smoked it
this one can actually spell my name, that's a shoe-in
it was literally the size of a crayloa marker. i didnt know what to do with it so i just sat there
She needs to learn she only fits into our friendship as a DD.
I bought a dress specifically for face plant durability... this is how serious I am about my drunk status this weekend
had my ear almost bitten off in foreplay. the sex gods do not like me.
I'm going to make a mold of my tits to bake a cake for him for our anniversary.. I can see the pride in his eyes now.
Listen I know you hate her for what she did but this is getting our of hand. Please please tell me where you hid her wedding dress.
She thinks Jesus was an astronaut.
I round house kicked her emotions in the face
sooo the guy I beat last night in strip pong is the manager's husband at my new job...
returning from a 6am booty call in 2 feet of snow on a Tuesday is a bold new kind of low for me
I just need some of your time and all of your body.
Erin was right. There were bees at the after hours.
Randomize
