dude she was so drunk she thought Jim Joyce made the right call
Tis a story best told in person, it involves a golf course, police and vomit
It usually does with you
just saw a guy driving a atv down the highway in a tux.... only in Iowa...
Just interrupted a freshman tour to ask where the sexual health center is. Figured I'd just give us all what we were really looking for.
I do remember getting hit in the face by an ugly one because she thought I was blowing on her butthole.
We had sex under a tree in his boss's backyard, then I hooked up with his best friend. I don't even care how I got home.
I look like a zombie and smell like a stripper. Its gonna be a good day.
Today, my boyfriend informed me that I look like my dad when I orgasm
No. I either had a 6 minute orgasm or I had so many I lost count. I'm still not sure.
I hope you get some kind or rare disease that makes your dick ties itself in a knot for fucking her you lucky bastard.
We need a full length mirror. I just ate it trying to look at my shoes on the toilet. But aside from a arm bruise I'm good to go
Aw don't be embarrassed. It was all good fun! We've all been there. You can't come to vegas and NOT get a little alcohol poisoning. That's like going to church and not praying.
he threw his shirt and suit jacket out the window of the uber going home
So, my love of dick may have landed me in a cult. On the bright side, I now have a discount at Spencer's.
I am on my way right now and I SWEAR TO GOD IF YOU EAT MY BURRITO YOU WILL NEVER SEE MY TITS AGAIN
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