OMG I just tried to text you something dirty but accidentally texted the obama campaign
I just wiped my face with a slice of bread. Lowest point of the night.
Was I wearing clothes when I handed you your keys. Please tell me I was wearing clothes.
I dont care how drunk you were. Making a bet with MY husband at MY wedding that you could seal the deal before he could is ALWAYS inappropriate!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The judge mental looks i am getting while looking at porn on my phone sitting in the urgent care waiting room is gonna get way worse when they find out im here to see if im pregnant
possibly one of my favorite moments was wiping it off your nose after you high fived a bouncer
No joke, I just found $85 on the ground. Must be because I bought you all that liquor. So much good karma.
Hey my vagina is like a company. Everyone has an equal opportunity....
I just had some kinky fun in the back seat of my car behind a Ralph's in south county. How's your thanksgiving eve?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was just hotboxing under my sheets and I got lost on the way out.
It was so scary.
He came on my favorite pants. He is dead to me.
I'm not getting off this floor. I love this floor
I fit in backpacks. BOOM HERE I AM! Like a stripper from a cake.
I didn't want to leave, I wanted to move into his ass
Almost lost a vagina lip in the great shave of '16
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