omg, he ripped it...he ripped my vagina...best. night. ever.
I just bought Christian paraphenilia at Borders for my dad's bday. I had the urge to tell them it wasn't mine, like I was buying laxatives or a dildo
Hahahaha. You probably would have been more comfortable buying either of those than what you just bought
I no longer want to be the gay that plays in the revolving door at RelationshipDale's like a seven year old with a.d.d.
the fucking easter bunny is here. he just made 3 cups in a row. no one knows who he is..
100% of annual heatstroke fatalities are preventable deaths! Don't let it happen to you! Also, you can catch crabs from almost anything! Be safe and have fun.
New bet. First person to fuck their girlfriend and narrate the whole thing in Morgan freemans voice wins. You are disqualified if she asks you about. My girlfriend is on her rag. U have the headstart. Your move...
She's cute, but batshit. Like some kind of dominatrix disney princess.
If it makes you feel any better... I have a friend who found out her mom was in the video for 2 Live Crew's "Pop That Pussy"
I remember saying to him "Fun fact! If you lie this way it's easier to deep throat!" I even judge me.
I'm making poor life decisions again. Tune in tomorrow to see how much I hate life.
Lesson learned. No more vodka and toaster strudel
This strip club is mediocre. Talent is fine. Fung shui is bad.
It's barely past noon, how am I already talking about double penetration
Let it be known that on this day, the 26th of October, in the year 2016, I successfully put both of his balls in my mouth at once.
On a scale of 1 to 10 how good of an idea would it be to pregame at the airport right now
Ten
Randomize
