Please tell me you did not just serenade her with "Let's Get it On"?
Yeah I think it worked. My penis thanks you, Captain Morgan.
Do vagina's smell?
he just found out his girl is having a boy. he's probably googling "Ed Hardy diapers" as we speak.
how the fuck did you end up in georgia? you were here at my party dry humping some chick 2 hours ago
so you mean to tell me that there is no way you can get me?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Shit sorry. Maybe I wont give you this sweet ass fanny pack I found in my parents attic
Drawing dicks in the frost on people's windshields is a rare joy I allow myself while walking to my 8 AM class.
I asked him how he was going to celebrate tomorrow and he said "tits, clits, and bong hits"
Ryan learned the all important lesson tonight; Red Bull gives you wings, Jaeger gives you gravity.
We're at the urgent care down the street from you if you care to stop by
I'm a gymnast. they should know better than to let me get dunk near anything i can flip on
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The picture that pops up when I call her phone is a picture of my nipple. Just so you're forewarned.
Just saw identical twins riding scooters. Today is not real who the hell rides a scooter anymore
On second thought, is it weird that I scheduled a surgery that determines my fertility around lingerie football night? I might have fucked up priorities.
Absolutely not. I would have done the exact same thing.
I've never had someone so bad at kissing. It was like he was trying to block my airway with his tongue and he succeeded...
Anytime he goes down on me i automatically think of you cheering me on. Your a good friend.
I ACCIDENTALLY MURDERED MY COUSIN
HOW DO YOU ACCIDENTALLY MURDER YOUR COUSIN
Randomize