College reaches a new low. We just carved a shot glass out of a potatoe.
Note to all middle aged "I totally let myself go after childbirth" frumpy mothers: I do not dress this way for your husbands. Stop looking at me like that. It's not my fault.
i dont know what it was but it was definately NOT a vagina
So...i'm having a drinking contest, my right hand vs my left, i have a feeling the 24 pack is gonna win
I was thinking Sara Jessica Parker was hot. That high.
It's not prostitution until you're out of college. Right now it's just strategic boning.
Just threw up in nordstroms while shopping for moms bday with dad. He distracted workers for me. No more tequila
you blew your rape whistle in his face every time he got near a girl till he left the party...
So yeah never trust sex tips from yahoo answers
Body paints and jello. Your canvas awaits
Another sexterpiece awaits
Killing two birds with one stone tonight: mastrabation meditation. Win win.
listen I need taco bell and an orgasm within the next hour. I'll leave the order in which you provide those things up to you
He apologized for cumming on my leg, but not for ghosting me for 3 weeks before :(
It's becoming clear to me that I am not sugar baby material. I don't think I could handle old balls long term.
dude the water is back on, you can stop shitting under the tree . . .
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