In line at the arbys drive thru on foot. Legendary.
Just woke up wearing a top hat and simpsons boxers. i also found more money in my wallet then what i had before going out, about $1000 more
There's a Cowboys game and a Rangers game on at the same time...talk about Sophie's choice
Apparently he doesn't remember leaving the bar
If I spent $100 at the bar and didn't get laid I wouldn't want to remember anything either
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
wanna go with us to feed the ducks bread soaked in vodka?
how could i say no?
FUUUUUCK she froze all my quaters inside the ice cubes again
You guys need to get along, there is no need for a pissing contest...We're all fucking each others ex's.
Its time to go balls to the wall to get any good D during these last few weeks of college.
Sometimes you have a life bucket list item checked off like 4 tits in your face simultaneously and getting to bang them both. I'm sorry I bailed on skiing but not really. Coming over with a boombox playing 'heat of the moment' as soon as I can hail a cab cause I'm too drunk to drive still...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
it's all fun and games til I text you in last nights clothes with a head bleed
My wife managed to convince me to not drink everclear by threatening to ban me from her vagina
So my POF profile is full of Archer references. Only guys who get them will be getting any response to their messages.
Remember the time you puked your contact lens out?
I am so stoned. And there are so many white people in this Jack in the Box.
I was just seen throwin up on the bookstore building near a trashcan by parents. Naturally I throw a thumbs up and say go college
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