so the chest pain/shortness of breath/overdose guy we just took to tm hospital is now running down market street from the police in a gown holding his iv.
Admittedly I was a little ambitious with some of the positions but you walked in during the worst of it.
Cumming on a girls face is guy code for you're not wife material.
I may have broken a few toes and my face hurts. I do know that I pissed the bed so at least I've got some closure there
Tell him I thought his Superman stand on your bed and cum all over your back was quite funny
Currently doing my walk of shame down a floating dock. No more guys who live on a boat EVER AGAIN
If they weren't representing Obama and the White House, they definitely would've punched me in the face.
I came back to consciousness and found myself sitting in a beanbag chair petting a 2 month old husky with one hand and eating an oreo Klondike bar with the other. This almost makes me forgive blackout lisa for making out with that chubbs at the xmas party
I tripped while walking across the stage and while trying to pick my diploma back up my flask fell out in front of the dean
she made me cum so hard I dislocated my jaw. I'm keeping her
I'm over here willing to be the Yoda of fucking but I guess he just doesn't want to be a Jedi.
I'm pretty sure I went in the girls bathroom and vomited everywhere then looked for a urinal for like 20 minutes
That's right. I just LL Cool J'ed you up in this bitch. Zero fucks.
He's eating me out right now. That's how bad he is.
She’s either doing coke or thinks my cock has the Covid vaccine. Either way I haven’t worn clothes in 3 days
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